Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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