guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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