this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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