Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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