I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
