Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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