The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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