I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize