you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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