Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
