Its about making memories worth repressing
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
