Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
