so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Who did Billy Mays play for?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
