And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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