you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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