May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
