idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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