I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
