Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
