That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
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I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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