So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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