He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
