it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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