playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
