I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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