he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
