She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
