I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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