i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
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From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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