There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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