Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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