When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
