I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
