just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
