we have officially lost it.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
