All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
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I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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