haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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