how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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