Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize