Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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