nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
