found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she peed on how many people?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
