he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
