So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
