is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
