So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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