Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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