so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Randomize
