I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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