Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I think people are normalizing furries
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
