just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
