I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.