I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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