yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
