Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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