Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
