fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
