See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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