my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
