My brain says no but my pants say off.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
