I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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